THE TWINKIE

I met a friend the other day with a frown upon his face.
Looked like he was about to resign from the whole damn human race.
I really meant to cheer him up, but he let out a piercing scream
When I asked him about his Twinkie, and who'd squeezed out the cream.

My wife came home the other night with tears in both her eyes.
Said that she had had her fill, and would break off all our ties.
I never meant a bit of harm, but tears flowed like a stream
When I asked her about her Twinkie and who'd squeeezed out the cream.

My sister-in-law was feeling low, her lip way down on her chin.
Just left me standing on the porch,. didn't even ask me in.
Just knocked the hell right out of me with a four foot two-by beam.
When I asked her about her Twinkie and who'd squeezed out the cream.

I knew old Rounder felt real bad; he just lay there on the floor.
He didn't even blink an eye as I walked through the door.
Just grabbed me by the britches's leg and ripped out every seam
When I asked him about his Twinkie and who'd squeezed out the cream.

I had quit my quest to reason why people feel so down and out.
I would leave them in their misery and let them cry and pout.
'Til I went out and bought a pack and let a piercing scream
When I bit into that Twinkie there was not one damned bit of cream!

Who stole your rubber duckie? Who wet in your sand pile?
Who wiped your face with sadness?  Who stole away your smile?
Who ruffled up your feathers?  Who punctured your big dream?
Who squeezed your precious Twinkie and licked off all the cream?