SOMETHING OF VALUE

I recently got to thinking about the time I was invited to attend the cornerstone ceremony of a large edifice erected and dedicated to the genius of man. You know, a fancy affair where the mayor, governor and all sorts of dignitaries assemble and make speeches. After the speeches they proceeded to make taped messages about the items they were placing in the time capsule and about the mores and values of our times. The idea being that sometime in the sweet by and by our off-springs would open the capsule and would be able to understand our culture to some degree.

Each dignitary placed items into the capsule along with a brief taped commentary and description. They went through an endless line and finally filled the cubicle. Lastly, they wrapped the tapes and placed them inside. The governor sealed the capsule using a gold plated trowel.

They forgot the hermetically sealed tape player with solar re-chargeable batteries. As a matter of fact it had been ripped off along with the hub caps off the governors limousine! I was apparently the only witness to this crime.

Let us now project on fast forward to a hypothetical idea a few centuries hence!

I am standing at the same site once again and watch our off-springs as they rip open the time capsule and tear through the assorted paraphernalia and listening to their comments.

Picking up the tapes one of them asks, "What’s this?" as he reels off tape in arm lengths, breaking it into small pieces. "Spools of ribbon silly" replies his partner. "Hell, it’s all one color" finally ripping off all the tape and tossing it and the reel into the bushes. "Hmmm, not very strong either."

"Hey look, what’s this?" holding a pair of panty hose. "Man, you are really dumb! Don’t you know anything? That is a milk strainer. They could fill two jars a the same time."

"This thing says Mastercharge" holding a plastic card. "Yeah, that’s how the master kept track of his slaves, kind of an ID tracking system."

"Snowshoes?" holding up a tennis racket.

"Now what in the world is this?" holding a filter cigarette. "That’s a tamp……….for pygmies ……..you know, insert………snap off……clever, huh?" replied his companion. I had trouble hearing all of this.

"Hey, we found one of these when we got to the center of the earth" holding up a Coca Cola bottle!  "YANKEES MURDER GIANTS TWELVE TO ONE" reading the headlines of a newspaper! "Yeah, those Yankees were tough. An ancient tribe, descendants of a great warrior named David. After slaying the Giants they migrated south to a place called Miami" tossing the newspaper into a bonfire.

Stooping over and looking into the cubicle one says, "There’s a sign back there says KILROY WAS HERE. Wonder who Kilroy was!" I though to myself. "Who hasn’t wondered!"

"Black Jack" while opening a bottle with a red and black label. "Hey, come here" taking a long swig of the contents and passing the bottle to his friend. "Now, that is what I call good booze!"

"Hey man, have another snort" sitting by the bonfire and stammering in a drunken stupor. "Look around some more, maybe you will find some more of this stuff or hic hic…………… something of value!"