DOCTORS

A very good friend,
A doctor of medicine,
Once told me
That he could practice
Excellent medicine
“Neath the shade of
An oak tree.
I believe him! 
As a matter of fact
That is exactly what we need
A good natured
Jolly doc
Dispensing his expertise
Au naturale!

Hey Doc,
Are you under the oak tree
This lovely day?
Did it ever occur to you
Why we need so many
Doctors?
What is it, eighty-seven percent
Of our complaints
 Would go away anyway
If we just let
Old Mother Nature
Have her way.
 And never step foot
In a doctor’s office!

Is this abuse or what?
Sign here, complete this form
And give us your name, address,
Phone number, insurance, bank balance
Along with a copy of your will!
The doctor will see you shortly.
Pointing to a long line of
Waitees!
I gave you that information
And completed the damn form last week.
We’re updating our files
To better serve you.
You complete the form
And then wonder, why am I here?

You reserved
 The first doctor’s appointment
For yourself!
Then where in the hell
Are all these patients going.
Are they practicing
Group medicine now?
What is one supposed to think?
It’s been hours
Since you filled out the
Damned form again.
There must be a better way
Just to get to see
A doctor!

How are we feeling today?
Nurses are sweet.
By this time
You are not.
You mutter something like
I am mad as holy hell!
You are instructed to
Strip
Bare assed naked!
You lay there freezing to death
With a thermometer up your butt
Wondering!
Is this necessary
Just to check my ear?

Let’s look at that pod of grapes
That’s been bothering you!
It’s my ear doctor,
It’s my damned ear!
Oh, you’re not Dave.
Whose Dave?
Nurse
Bring me this patients
Chart
 And help your patient
Get dressed
We will check the ear later.
It looks like we are somewhat chilly today,
Aren’t we?

Here, take this prescription,
The doctor says your ear
Should clear up
In a week or so!
Nurse, do you have the form
I filled out this morning?
What form?
Don’t see it here in your chart.
Will that be cash, check, insurance,
Medicaid or Medicare?
Oh, Medicare
Do you know any doctor
Practicing medicine
 Under an oak tree?

Yeah, but he don’t take
Medicare patients!